Do You Want To Rekindle Your Relationship?

For some people, breaking up with their partner is an unacceptable fate. As such, they immediately set out to get their ex back. If you want to rekindle a relationship that has gone sour, there are several steps you can take to help make achieving this goal a little more likely, regardless of the circumstance or situation of the break up.

Right now you may not know what to do and feel completely lost. This is understandable, but the last thing we want to do - which I think you would agree with, is acting out of confusion.The first requires some introspection on your part. The intensely emotional nature of most break-ups almost inevitably leads the person who's been broken up with to leap to conclusions about their ex.

It is essential that you do not do this.Once you have identified areas in which you can improve, it's time to take responsibility for them. Tell you ex what you have discovered, but be sure to do it in such a way you are not qualifying it by blaming the root action on them. Saying, "I messed up but it was all your fault" does not come across as a reconciliation, it sounds like an accusation. Obviously, no one is going to want to get back with a person telling them its all their fault (think of it this way, if your ex said something like that to you, how would you feel?).

This means accepting the blame, and letting your ex know that you're prepared to own up to your part of the break up. What this does not mean, however, is rationalizing your actions to be the other person's fault. In other words, don't say, "I did these things but it was because of you."

This isn't an apology, it's an accusation and can only serve to anger your ex or put them in a position of being defensive, not receptive to the prospect of a reconciliation.Responsibility comes with maturity, those who are mature are responsible people, they know that what they do can effect others and as a result they are thoughtful.

By you taking responsibility you will reflect that you are mature enough to face the challenge and as we all know, immaturity is fine for a short period of time but over the long haul it becomes a pain in the neck.When you're done talking to your ex, take some time to think about what you each have said.

Give your ex, and yourself, some space to really absorb the exchange. Think about what was said that can be improved upon. Gage how far you are willing to go to make the relationship work and how much faith you have in your ex doing the same. If you are going to get back together, you will never succeed unless you both view the relationship as a new, clean slate.The difference in the latter question is key.

Be sure the differences between you and your ex can be solved and are reasonable. You should also be sure you are motivated to get your ex back not simply because you are used to them being in your life and have become co-dependent, but because you truly want to build a life with this person.

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